Q: How can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Toilet paper on the washing line.
Q: What's another way you can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Padlocks on the rubbish bins.
Q: How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas?
A: Parking meter on the roof.
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney and says "Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?"
Q: Why do New Yorkers have glass rubbish bins?
A: So the Jews can go "window shopping".
Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention.
Q: Why do Jewish wives keep their old bras?
A: So they can make Yarmulkes for their husbands.
(For those that don't know, Yarmulkes are those funny little caps that Jews wear on their heads).
Q: What's the difference between pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.
Q: Why are Yankee dollars green?
A: Because the Jews pick them before they're ripe.
Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Because someone dropped a twenty-cent piece.
Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.
Q: What happens when a Jew with a full erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
Q: What's a Jewish dilemma?
A: Free ham.
Q: What's the definition of a queer Jew?
A: A Jew who likes girls more than money.
Q: Did you know that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
A: Yeah, it was from sneaking into pay toilets.
Q: Why do Jewish wives use gold diaphragms?
A: Their husbands like coming into money.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Jew with a Gypsy?
A: A chain of empty retail stores.
Q: What's the difference between karate and judo?
A: Karate is a form of self-defence, and judo is what bagels are made out of (Jew dough).
Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the time when Marilyn Monroe slept the night on the steps outside the Hollywood synagogue?
A: She woke up in the morning with a heavy dew (Jew) on top of her.
Q: What does an Jewish American Princess (JAP) make for lunch?
A: Reservations.
Q: How do you know when a Jewish American Princess has had an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.
Q: How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?
A: Marry her.
Q: What's the definition of Jewish foreplay?
A: Two hours of begging.
Q: How do you tickle a JAP?
A: Gucci, Gucci, Goo.
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and poverty?
A: Poverty sucks.
Q: What do you get when you cross a JAP with a prostitute?
A: Someone who sucks credit cards.
A: Toilet paper on the washing line.
Q: What's another way you can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Padlocks on the rubbish bins.
Q: How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas?
A: Parking meter on the roof.
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney and says "Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?"
Q: Why do New Yorkers have glass rubbish bins?
A: So the Jews can go "window shopping".
Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention.
Q: Why do Jewish wives keep their old bras?
A: So they can make Yarmulkes for their husbands.
(For those that don't know, Yarmulkes are those funny little caps that Jews wear on their heads).
Q: What's the difference between pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.
Q: Why are Yankee dollars green?
A: Because the Jews pick them before they're ripe.
Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Because someone dropped a twenty-cent piece.
Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.
Q: What happens when a Jew with a full erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
Q: What's a Jewish dilemma?
A: Free ham.
Q: What's the definition of a queer Jew?
A: A Jew who likes girls more than money.
Q: Did you know that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
A: Yeah, it was from sneaking into pay toilets.
Q: Why do Jewish wives use gold diaphragms?
A: Their husbands like coming into money.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Jew with a Gypsy?
A: A chain of empty retail stores.
Q: What's the difference between karate and judo?
A: Karate is a form of self-defence, and judo is what bagels are made out of (Jew dough).
Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the time when Marilyn Monroe slept the night on the steps outside the Hollywood synagogue?
A: She woke up in the morning with a heavy dew (Jew) on top of her.
Q: What does an Jewish American Princess (JAP) make for lunch?
A: Reservations.
Q: How do you know when a Jewish American Princess has had an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.
Q: How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?
A: Marry her.
Q: What's the definition of Jewish foreplay?
A: Two hours of begging.
Q: How do you tickle a JAP?
A: Gucci, Gucci, Goo.
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and poverty?
A: Poverty sucks.
Q: What do you get when you cross a JAP with a prostitute?
A: Someone who sucks credit cards.
