Rosco was wandering through a mall one day, and he happened upon a clock shop with a gorgeous lady working at the desk.
Rosco walked right up to the desk, whipped out his penis, and put it right next to the lady.
The lady was alarmed and said, "Wait just a minute there, sir! This is a clock shop, not a cock shop!"
Rosco replied, "I know, I want you to put two hands and a face on this!"
A man walked into a fancy lingerie department and told the clerk that he wanted to buy a bra for his wife.
The clerk asked the man, "What type of bra does she need?"
"Type? There are different types of bra's?"
"Yes," the clerk responds. "There is the Catholic type, the Salvation Army type and the Baptist type."
"What's the difference?"
"Well...," the clerk answered. "The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type uplifts the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up.
At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk.
"I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive," she said.
"Well,"said the clerk, 'I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?"
"$50.00?? For a Frog??" asked the woman.
The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs,"
Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so, she thought this was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog.
She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift. Of course, the husband was a bit skeptical, but said for sure he'd try it out that night. The woman went to bed that night relieved knowing she'd never have to give another blow job.
About two in the morning, she woke up to hear pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. She got up to go see what was going on. When she got to the kitchen she saw her husband and the frog, sitting at the kitchen table like best buddies, looking through cookbooks.
"What are you two doing looking through cookbooks at this hour?" asked the woman.
The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is outta here."
