An English parachutist and an Irish parachutist were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in a plane and judge by the mid-air performance of their parachutes.
The Irishman jumped first, pulled his cord, and started floating down towards the earth.
Then the Englishman jumped, pulled his cord and nothing happened; he pulled his safety cord - nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past the Irishman, plummeting like a stone.
"Oh," shouted the Irishman, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race, do ya?!"
Did you hear about the guy who made a million dollars in Ireland selling Cheezels?
He sold them as doughnut seeds.
Did you hear about the Irish car pool?
They all meet at work.
Q: How come Irishmen don't go elephant hunting?
A: They get too tired carrying the decoys.
Q: Why don't Irishmen become chemists?
A: They can't fit the little bottles in the typewriter.
Q: Why do Irishmen wear two condoms?
A: To be sure, to be sure.
