Restaurant
Customer: "Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's
legs?"
Waiter: "Certainly, Sir!"
Customer: "Well hop over here and get me
a sandwich!"
* * *
Three couples are dining together.
The
American husband says to his wife: "Pass me the honey, Honey".
The English
husband says to his wife: "Pass me the sugar, Sugar".
The [you name it]
husband says to his wife: "Pass me the steak, Dumb cow".
* * *
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish.
The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the
men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and
helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said,
"really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the
smaller fish!" The other one replied, "What are you complaining for; you have
it, don't you?"
* * *
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered
two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to
eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You
can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other,
shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
* * *
"What flavors of ice cream do you have?"
inquired the customer. "Vanilla, strawberry and chocolate," answered the new
waitress in a hoarse whisper. Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked "Do
you have laryngitis?" "No...." replied the new waitress with some effort,
"just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry and chocolate."
* * *
Customer: "Give me a hot dog."
Waiter:
"With pleasure."
Customer: "No, with mustard."
