Fire
Three firefighters went out on a
hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain and a chief. The weather was
misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack
where they went inside to play a game of poker. After loosing a couple of hands,
the rookie threw down his cards and said "That does it! I am going out to get me
a deer." Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point
buck. The captain and chief asked "How did you get that?" The rookie replied, "I
walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck". The captain
then said "I've had enough of this, I am going to get my deer." He came back a
half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked "How did you get that?" The
captain replied "I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this
buck." The chief not wanting to be out done said "I am out of here, I am going
to bag the biggest buck of the day." He came back an hour later, all mangled up
and bloody. The rookie and captain asked "What happened to you?" The chief
replied "I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks and got hit
by a train."
* * *
A farmer rushed to his phone one day to report
that his nearest neighbor's house was on fire. He promptly called 911 to report
the fire. In the calmest voice he could muster, he reported the fire was at his
neighbor's house two miles down the road. The dispatcher asked "How do we get
there?" The farmer hesitated a few seconds then asked "Don't you, guys, have
those big red trucks anymore?"
* * *
It seems there was a woman who received some
bad news. Her husband had been in an automobile accident and was brain dead. The
doctor told her some good news, though. They had perfected their brain
transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains in the
brain bank from which to choose. There had been a major tragedy at their local
fire department. A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and the
chief. Having insurance, she requested the cost for each of the brains. The
firefighter's brain was $10,000, the captain's brain was $50,000 and the chief's
brain was a MILLION DOLLARS! Curious, she asked why the chief's brain was so
much more expensive. The reply...you see the chief's brain has never been
used!!!
* * *
A fireman and policeman died and both went to
heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even
one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some
time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young
lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent
over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.
* * *
A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he
got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates. He told
himself "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels
guarding the gates and said "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied
"You'll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir." While waiting at the back
of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a
white helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief
enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels.
He asked "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the
angels replied "You have it all wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a
Fire Chief."
