DEFINITIONS
- Actor -- A man who tries to be everything but himself.
- Adult -- A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
- Advice -- The one thing which is "More blessed to give than receive."
- Average Man -- One who thinks he isn't.
- Bank -- An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence to show that you don't need it.
- Bigamist -- One who makes the same mistake twice.
- Bore -- One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
- Bridge -- A card game in which a good deal depends on a good deal.
- Broadway -- A place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
- Budget -- A method of worrying before you spend instead of afterward.
- Childish Game -- One at which someone beats you.
- Civilization -- A process of creating more needs than means to supply.
- Committee -- A body that keeps minutes and wastes hour.
- Conservative -- A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Creditor -- A man who has better money than a debtor.
- Criminal -- One who gets caught.
- Courtship -- The period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better.
- Critic -- A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
- Diamond -- A woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.
- Economy -- Denying us a necessity today in order to buy a luxury tomorrow.
- Egotist -- A man who tells you those things about himself which you intended to tell him about yourself.
