> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..
>
> CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me?
> I was so overwhelmed,I couldn't speak for an hour..
> PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
>
> 1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps
> being chased by the doctor.
> 2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
> kiss??
> TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
> cigarette out of his mouth.
>
> Man : You remind me of the sea.
> Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> Man : NO, because you make me sick.
>
>
> Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
> and comes out of the other.
> Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in
> both ears and comes out of the mouth.
>
> Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.
> What do u think, Peter?
> Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
> Mother : No, Peter. Why?
> Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, "Oh
god, are you still there?"
>
>
> Customer : How much is that tie?
> Salesman : Forty dollars.
> Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that
> much money.
> Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around
> your neck.
>
> Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
> Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
>
> Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness
> and consideration to me?
> Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
>
> Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I
> comfortable seated.
> Lily : So what do you do?
> Sam : I close my eyes.
>
> Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
> Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I
> gave them last week.
>
> Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
> Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
>
> Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me
> to the bank?
> Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
>
> Man : Why should I pay you so much?
> Little boy : Because bank directors are always
> highly paid.
>
> It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent
> mood as he questioned the prisoner.
> "What are you charged with?" he asked.
> "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the
> defendant.
> "That's no offense," replied the judge. "How early
> were you doing this shopping?"
> "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner
> BOY : You love me...
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..
>
> CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me?
> I was so overwhelmed,I couldn't speak for an hour..
> PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
>
> 1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps
> being chased by the doctor.
> 2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
> kiss??
> TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
> cigarette out of his mouth.
>
> Man : You remind me of the sea.
> Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> Man : NO, because you make me sick.
>
>
> Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
> and comes out of the other.
> Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in
> both ears and comes out of the mouth.
>
> Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.
> What do u think, Peter?
> Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
> Mother : No, Peter. Why?
> Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, "Oh
god, are you still there?"
>
>
> Customer : How much is that tie?
> Salesman : Forty dollars.
> Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that
> much money.
> Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around
> your neck.
>
> Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
> Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
>
> Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness
> and consideration to me?
> Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
>
> Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I
> comfortable seated.
> Lily : So what do you do?
> Sam : I close my eyes.
>
> Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
> Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I
> gave them last week.
>
> Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
> Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
>
> Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me
> to the bank?
> Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
>
> Man : Why should I pay you so much?
> Little boy : Because bank directors are always
> highly paid.
>
> It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent
> mood as he questioned the prisoner.
> "What are you charged with?" he asked.
> "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the
> defendant.
> "That's no offense," replied the judge. "How early
> were you doing this shopping?"
> "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner
