A little old lady moves to a new town and goes to her local grocery store to buy some cat food. She picks up 3 cans and takes them to the check-out counter. The girl at the cash register says, "I'm sorry but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. Lots of older people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the food for a real cat."
The little old lady doesn't like it, but she goes home and brings her cat back to the store. They sell her the cat food.
The next day she goes in to buy 3 cans of dog food. Again the cashier demands proof that she has a dog, because old people sometimes eat dog food.
She angrily goes home to get her dog. When she brings him back, she gets her dog food.
The next day she comes into the store carrying a box with a hole in the lid. When she asks the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier refuses. "No, you might have a snake in there!"
The old lady insists, telling her that there's nothing alive in the box.
So the cashier puts her finger in the box and feels something odd. She pulls her finger out and says, "Eww, that smells like shit!"
The little old lady says, "It is. Now can I buy 3 rolls of toilet paper?"
