Chicken Salad

Chicken Salad 
Two toddlers, a boy and a girl, lived across the street from each other. Both dearly loved chicken salad. Each day, they took turns having lunch at his or her house and they always ate chicken salad. This continued until they were ready to start school.
The day before school started, their mothers found them crying. When asked why they were crying, they responded that they could no longer eat their chicken salad together. The mothers comforted them with the promise that they would pack their lunches and they could still eat chicken salad together every day.
The children did so every day. When they were about 11 years old, the girl unpacked her lunch one day and the boy, startled, said, "That's not chicken salad. You said you were going to eat chicken salad every day for the rest of your life. What IS that stuff?"
To which the girl replied, "This is peanut butter and jelly. I still love chicken salad, but I can't eat it anymore."

Cavity

Cavity 
Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Futh furiously scrubbing his penis with a toothbrush and toothpaste.
"What do you think you're doing, young man?!" she exclaimed.
"Don't try to stop me!" Futh warned. "I'm gonna do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my sister's.

Cab Driver

Cab Driver 
A mother and daughter were riding in a cab though New York City when the daughter noticed some scantily clad women loitering on a street corner. "Mommy," the little girl asked, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to come home from work." the mother answered.
"C'mon lady, they're hookers!" retorted the cab driver.
After a stunned silence, the daughter asked, "Mommy, do hookers have children?"
"Of course," the mother replied, "where do you think cabbies come from?"

Boy it's Dark in Here

Boy it's Dark in Here 
This little boy hid in his parent's bedroom closet, as he wanted to see what took place in their room when the doors were locked.
As he peeked thru the slats of the closet door he saw his mother and her boyfriend going at it. Suddenly the boy's father comes home. The wife wisks her boyfriend off into the closet - the same closet her son is in.
After several minutes the boy says to the man, "Boy it's dark in here." Shocked, the man just nods his head in agreement.
After a few more minutes the boy says, "Wanna buy my baseball glove?"
The man asks "How much?" In reply the boy says $50.
The man agrees. Several more minutes pass when the boy asks the man if he'd like to buy his baseball bat for $50 as well.
The man reluctantly agrees.
After the father departs, the woman takes her boyfriend out of the closet, and too upset to continue she sends him on his way.
The next morning at the breakfast table the little boy pulls out a roll of money and begins counting it. The mother asks "Where did that come from?, to which her son replied "Can't say."
The mother asks again and upon his refusal to tell she tells her son to get in the car.
The mother takes the boy to church and tells him to get into the confessional and tell the priest where he got the money. When the priest slid the door over the boy said, "Boy it's dark in here", to which the priest replied, "Don't start that shit again!"

Beauty Cream

Beauty Cream 
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

A Boy and his Baby Sister

A Boy and his Baby Sister 
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

9 Year Old Early Fuck

9 Year Old Early Fuck 
Nine year old Junior comes home from school one day and his mother asks what he learned. "Oh, mom," said Junior, "I learned how to fuck today!" Mom is furious and sends him to his room explaining that he has to wait till his father gets home. Well, dad gets home about an hour later and is met by his irate wife. "Go talk to YOUR son!" she demands.
Dad goes up and finds his son sitting on the bed and asks what had happened. "Dad, all I told her is that I learned to fuck today," says Junior. "That's my boy!!!!!" dad blurts out, but after thinking a moment he says, "Well, your mom is really upset about this, so I'm gonna have to ground you for a week. But, I see you're following in your father's footsteps. I'm quite proud of you."
The next day at the construction site, dad is bragging to all his co-workers about his nine year old son getting laid. "A chip off the old block!" he beams . "Of course, I didn't start till I was ten, but he's already becoming a man!!"
Dad comes home from work that night, proud as can be, barely kisses the wife's cheek as he rushes up to his son's room. "Well, son," he asks, "did you do it again today???"
"Oh, no!" exclaims Junior, "my butt still hurts from yesterday!"

8 Year Boy Charged with Rape

8 Year Boy Charged with Rape
An eight-year-old boy was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.
As a last, desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down the client's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried, turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman-"
"WATCH IT," yelped the kid. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"

7 Year old getting Married

7 Year old getting Married
Little Bobby (seven) was in love with Little Susie (same age) who lived next door.
One day, Bobby went to Susie's dad and announced (as seriously as he could), "I'm in love with Susie, and we're getting married".
Amused, Susie's dad started asking questions (in the hopes to discourage the idea).
Susie' dad: "Where will you live?"
Bobby: "Well, Susie has a playhouse in the back yard, so we're gonna live there."
Susie's dad: "How are you going to make money to support her?"
Bobby: "Well, Susie gets 75 cents a week, and I get $1.25 a week." <pauses to think> "That should be more than enough!"
Seeing that Bobby was still serious, Susie's dad asked, "Well, what about children?"
Bobby perked up and quickly answered, "Oh, we have that figured out already. Whenever Susie lays an egg, I'm gonna stomp on it!"

Foot size

Foot size
Three Brothers, Tom, Dick and Harry, all have unusually large feet. Tom and Harry are both size 12, but Dick's are a whopping size 14. Tom and Harry decide to have a night on the town and whilst in a bar, notice a group of women looking over and laughing. Harry asks the group what they are laughing at and one of the women apologies, but says they can’t get over the size of their feet. Harry laughs and tells the women “if you think these are big, you should see the size of our Dick’s “