ABORIGINE JOKES

A man was bumping over an excuse for a road in his four-wheel-drive, way out past the Black Stump, when he saw an Abo carrying two sheets of corrugated iron and a carton of stubbies.
He stopped to give him a lift, and the Abo chucked the two sheets of corrugated iron and the carton of stubbies in the back of the ute and hopped in beside the driver.
"What the hell are you doing, wandering around the outback with two sheets of corrugated iron and a carton of stubbies?" the driver asked.
"The wife kicked me out," the Abo explained. "We had a court case. She got the kids, and I got the house and contents."

ABORIGINE JOKES

Three men - an Australian, a Jew, and an Abo - are crossing the road, when a bus runs them all over, killing them instantly. They appear before Saint Peter, who prepares to let them into Heaven.
The three plead and beg to be allowed to go back, as they're only young and haven't led full lives. Eventually, Saint Peter relents and lets them go back to earth - on the one condition that they each pay him $500.
The Aussie pays his $500 straight away, and BANG!!, he's back in the same street he had just left. Immediately, he goes into the nearest pub, and tells all of his mates his amazing story.
Of course, they don't believe him. "So," asks one mate, "if all this is true, then where's the Jew and the Abo?".
"Well," says the Aussie, "when I left them, the Jew had him down to $100, and the Abo was arguing that the government should pay for it".

ABORIGINE JOKES

Fred: "Two Abos are standing on top of a five-storey building, a fat one weighing 20 stone and a skinny one weighing 8 stone, and they both jump off at the same time - who hits the ground first?".
Jim: "I don't know. What's the answer?".
Fred: "Who cares?".

ABORIGINE JOKES

Fred: "There's only one thing worse than bigots".
Jim: "What's that?.
Fred: "Abos!".

ABORIGINE JOKES

Fred sees an old Abo walking down the road, apparently oblivious to the fact that he's wearing only one thong.
"Hey, Jackie" calls out Fred, "You've lost a thong!".
"Nah, mate" says the old Abo, "I've just found one".

ABORIGINE JOKES

On yet another journey, the truckie gives a lift to a priest. Later, as he's barrelling down the road, he sees an Abo ahead, he plants the foot down, and speeds towards him. At the last moment he remembers he's got the priest on board, and swerves, just missing the Abo.
"I'm terribly sorry about that, Father".
"That's OK, my son, I got him with the door".

ABORIGINE JOKES

On his way back the same truckie picks up a hitchhiker. After a while the hitchhiker says he's tired and lays down in the truck's "sleeper" compartment for a rest.
A while later the hitchhiker is woken up by the noise of the truck running over something: "BASH!, BASH!, BASH!".
"What's all the racket?" he asks the driver.
"Oh, I just hit an Abo".
"But what was all that other noise?".
"Well, I had to go over two fences to get the bastard".

ABORIGINE JOKES

Truck driver doing the long haul from Melbourne to Perth. Sees three Abos ahead on the road. Thinks "Bewdy", puts his foot flat down on the accelerator, speeds down the road, hits them all.
One Abo gets knocked into a nearby paddock; one gets smashed through the truck's windscreen; the other lands 100 yards down the road, gets up and runs away.
Just then a cop car pulls up. "Oh, no!!" thinks the truckie. Cop asks truckie what happened, truckie thinks he'd better "come clean", so tells him the truth.
"No worries" says the cop, "we'll charge the first Abo with trespass, the second with break and enter, and the third with leaving the scene of an accident".

ABORIGINE JOKES

A garbage truck stops outside a ramshackle old house in Redfern.
The garbo yells out to the old Abo sitting on the front step: "Hey, where's your bin?"
Abo answers "I've bin in Queensland".
Garbo: "No, where's your wheelie bin".
Abo: "Well, I've weally bin in jail for the last two weeks, but don't tell anyone".

ABORIGINE JOKES

A Jew, a Hindu, and an Abo were travelling together, and as night fell they came to a little country inn. The innkeeper explained apologetically that only two beds were available in the inn but that he would be glad to make up a comfortable cot for the third man in the barn. So the three travellers drew straws, and it fell upon the Jew to sleep in the barn.
Just a few minutes later there was a knock on the door, to which the innkeeper responded. "I'm so sorry," explained the Jew, "but there is a pig in the barn, and my religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a pig."
The Hindu had taken the next shortest straw, and so out he went. In a few minutes, though, there was another knock, and the innkeeper opened the door on the Indian fellow. Apologising, the Hindu explained that his religious persuasion forbade him to share shelter with a cow, and there was indeed such a creature in the barn.
Finally, out went the Abo to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there was yet another knock on the door, which the innkeeper answered. And there on the doorstep stood the pig and the cow.

ABORIGINE JOKES

Three men are in a jail cell, discussing their crimes.
The first man asks the second man, "What are you in here for?".
Second man says "Armed robbery".
"What did you get?"
"12 years".
First man to third man, "What are you in for?"
"Murder".
"What did you get?"
"20 years".
Third man then asks the first man, "And what are you in for?"
"Burning Abos with petrol".
"What did you get?"
"Eight to the gallon".

ABORIGINE JOKES

An Abo falls off the edge of Ayers Rock. On the way down, he just manages to grab hold of a bush to save himself.
As he's hanging there, wondering what to do, a great loud voice booms down from the heavens.
"This is God speaking" says the great voice.
"Yes, God?" says the Abo.
"Do you want me to help you?"
"Yes, please, God."
"Do you believe in me?"
"Yes, God"
"Then let go of the bush, and everything will be alright"
The Abo lets go of the bush, and plunges to the ground below. Splat!
The great voice booms down again: "Can't stand those black bastards!"

ABORIGINE JOKES

A Jew, an Irishman, and a Abo all died on the same day and went to heaven, where they were greeted by Saint Peter. "Good to see you guys, said Saint Peter. "One quick quiz and I'll be able to formally admit you to heaven."
"Just a sec," said the Jew. "Being a Jew, I've had it rough all my life and I'd like to know if I can expect any religious persecution in heaven."
"Certainly not," said Saint Peter. "Spell God."
The Jew does this correctly, and is let in.
"Well, now," says the Irishman, "being Irish, I've been treated terribly, and I'd like to make sure I'm not going to encounter any more of that sort of stuff."
"No way," said Saint Peter. "Spell Jesus."
The Irishman does this correctly, and is let in.
"Saint Peter," said the Abo, "as you can see, I'm black, and I've had to endure a lot of discrimination in my life. Can I expect any more of that in heaven?"
"Of course not," said Saint Peter. "Spell chrysanthemum."

ABORIGINE JOKES

I wouldn't like to say that Abos have a hygiene problem, but if you look carefully at the picture on the reverse side of the $2 coin, you can see the flies buzzing around the Abo's head.

ABORIGINE JOKES

An Abo finds an old brass bottle in his back yard, gives it a rub, and a genie appears. The genie tells him he can have three wishes.
"I wanna be rich" says the Abo.
"BANG": the back yard fills up with huge chests overflowing with gold coins and jewels.
"I'm no fool" says the Abo, "I wanna be White".
"BANG": he's changed, suddenly he's White, blond-haired and blue-eyed.
"Thirdly, I never want to work another day in my life".
"BANG": he's black again.

Two Abos

Two Abos appear at the Pearly Gates, asking to be let in. Saint Peter says "No way, we don't let Abos in here". The Abos plead, telling him how they've been good Christians all their lives, and deserve to go to heaven. So, Saint Peter tells them he'll check with God, and off he goes to see Him.
God thinks it over for a while and then says "Well, we don't really want any Abos in here, but the rules say that we've got to admit them if they've been good Christians, so you'd better let them in".
Peter goes off, then comes running back 2 minutes later: "God, God, they've gone, they've gone!".
"What? The Abos have gone?".
"No, the Pearly Gates!!!"

Question and Anwer Jokes 2

Q: What do you call an Abo in an orange VW?
A: A Jaffa.

Q: What do you call an Abo in a Rolls Royce?
A: A thief.

Q: What do you call an Abo in a suit?
A: The defendant.

Q: What do you call an Abo with a gun?
A: Sir.

Q: What do you call an Abo who does well in a an IQ test?"
A: A cheat.

Q: What do you call 50 Abos rolling down a hill?
A: An Abolanche.

Q: Did you hear about the two Abos who appeared on the TV show "That's Incredible"?
 A: One didn't drink and the other had a job.